Self awareness trumps motivation
This might not be a popular things to say - but that analogy that gets handed out in the health and fitness world, when encouraging people to commit to exercise, that goes a little like it shouldn’t be hard, like brushing our teeth & we not motivated to do that …. you just do it…..
Well I disagree with the comparison and haven’t used that analogy since I was 20. …. I think we need to be more analytical about our lives and honest that exercise can be a challenging commitment and work harder on making it work - for HEALTHS sake. It’s a suspicion of mine that if this analogy has ever worked it has been for a short period after you’ve nodded and agreed to it being a comparison about motivation but has NOTHING to do with committing and being persistent about exercise. Just quickly…
Why do people brush their teeth?
early childhood conditioning
fear of social embarrassment
self esteem*
fear of the dentist
much less time and effort
….do people actually brush their teeth as they are meant too….
*”in both sexes (4075 participants), as self-esteem improved, there was a consistent increase in the proportions of individuals who brushed their teeth to make them feel clean.
These findings suggest there may be a positive relationship between self-esteem and toothbrushing behaviour and motivation for mouth care in adolescents.”
I digress - as now there seems to be a correlation with self esteem and self care (another research afternoon rabbit hole). But certainly self-awareness, metacognition practices & conscious commitment to discomfort is a bigger player than motivation.
So, lets get to the heart of it - if you are not naturally drawn to exercise or you have an on again off again relationship BUT you know you should get involved, I encourage looking into more of the above.
What are the costs of ambivalence towards some form of movement, what are the alternatives??
I certainly think there will have been times in life when you have managed to make a change that hasn’t been smooth and easy but you managed to pull it off….
It’s a lot easier to start some new type of life-enhancing behaviour than it is to keep it going. How can we sustain new patterns of behaviour, until we’ve done them for so long they become habitual?
So while motivation might light the spark try these 7 R’s to move it to a forever
Reminders - what am I focusing DOING that will get me to my goal, can you put a reminder that is constantly seen on our phone scene saver, on your car dashboard, a love note to ourselves on the mirror, or in your runners - It might be just one word, like ‘Breathe’ or ‘Pause’ or ‘Patience’, ‘Refuel’, or the name of WHO it is for.
Records - throughout the day - note when and where you do the new behaviour & what the benefits are. As well as old behaviours and what the costs are (NB don’t be mean to yourself about them, punishing yourself for error - that doesn’t help anyone).
Rewards - hopefully you are rewarding yourself for your new behaviour often = kindly speaking to yourself, celebrating with yourself or others. On the other hand if you are more material how about if you achieve it for a week you get a massage….
Routines - these act as helpful autopilots in the future but will require will power initially, so experiment with adding your new behaviour to an existing routine- eg: you get a train to work, so getting off a stop early to walk in to work. Or if you drive stop in the car for a second to reflect on the values you lived by before you walk in the door. (Remember that willpower has a level of discomfort to it to be ready to tussle with that taking you off your path).
Relationships - who are your cheerleaders, who will help you remain accountable - do you have a study-buddy, exercise partner? Maybe you don’t train with that person but they are benefitting from you checking in with their health. AND in your life how will the needs of others possible interrupt your flow or, negative reactions of others that direct you to set clear boundaries.
Reflection - Regularly check in with your new behaviour and the effect it is having on your life. This can pop up through records or relationships. ‘How am I going?’, ‘What am I doing that’s working?’, ‘What am I doing that’s not working?’, ‘What can I do more of, or less of, or differently?’ Also non judgementally look at when you’ve STOPPED the behaviour and what cost the set back has had.
Restructuring the environment - how does your environment limit your new behaviour? What in your environment could change to increase the likelihood of you sustaining the change? If you are exercising from home can you choose a space that is light and inviting? If you are exercising early in the morning can your clothes be set out…
Bonus extra - REGROUP
with the seasons! We are not all naturally attracted to the same spaces and people and movement as the year rolls around. Moving to a new practice biannually or with each change helps to limit the guilt trips of unconsciously “falling off the wagon” and keep us naturally driven towards creativity and interests.
So next time someone’s well intentioned “Make exercise part of your routine. Like brushing your teeth, or taking a shower. Don't think about doing it. Just do it”. Smile and nod, then return to this blog as ONE of the steps of how to audit your life and mindset to fit exercise in.
*reference: Macgregor ID, Balding JW. Self-esteem as a predictor of toothbrushing behaviour in young adolescents. J Clin Periodontol. 1991 May;18(5):312-6. doi: 10.1111/j.1600-051x.1991.tb00434.x.