About Damn Time (part 1 of 2)

What if the stars do not have to align for you to commit to the health change your body & mind has been nagging for.

How about just a willingness + conscious pursuit = you getting your shit together. Apologies, for zero warning on being stern. We are all working hard - but even our own excuses start to annoy us after a while. What’s the saying speaking about it twice before action is consulting, speaking about it 3+ times without action is just complaining.

So it’s about damn time we get clear & deliberate with what we want for our future and what continually gets in our way. THIS is the experiment you need to do on yourself to start being metacognitive & self aware (with follow up ACTION) to steer away from the levels of resistance that sound like:

“I will make the change when”;

“the kids have got so much on…”; or

“have you seen them… I could never do that”.

A poll of 2,000 Americans (2018) found that the average respondent makes six excuses daily about not exercising,

I'm too tired: 49%, I don't have enough money: 48%, I don't have enough time: 48%, It's too inconvenient: 31%, I'm too forgetful: 28%.

So what’s your relationship with your excuses? What’s your biases or “righting reflex”* that keeps you in the waiting space?

It should come as no surprise to you curious folk that exercise (aka - caring for our health) is either avoided, used as a tool OF avoidance or is being obstructed by another problem.

Can we open up the thing we are avoiding & continue on with what matters. Not trying to get rid of the hard or worrying things, but accept their humanness, and take them with us while we go on this path of small effective changes.

What have you tried? How has it worked? What has it cost?

Is it ok to experiment with a new approach?

Try this task to dissect the problem, & get out of your own way.

Please lead with self compassion and non judgemental curiosity - self criticism will obstruct change, observe yourself for change.

1# pick the main challenge

• summarise it into one or two sentences and score its impact on your life out of 10 (1is this problem has no impact > 10 this is consuming my life)

2 # describe the impact

• summarise in one or two sentences how it affects your life, what it stops you from doing or being.

3 # map out the major elements that contribute SIGNIFICANTLY to the issue

• draw a grid with 4 parts, in each grid work through one of the following:

• entanglement with thoughts

  • memories, worries, fears, self criticisms, or other unhelpful thoughts do you dwell on or get “caught up in relating to the issue. “What thoughts do I allow to hold me back or push me around?”

• life-draining actions

  • what are you doing that soothes you in the short term, but makes your life worse in the long run? ie: keeps you stuck, wastes your money, drains your energy, restricts your life, impacts negatively on your health - work - or relationships, maintains or worsens the problem?

• struggle with feelings

  • what emotions, feelings, urges, impulses or sensations associated with this issue do you fight with, avoid, suppress, try to get rid of, or otherwise struggle with?

• avoiding challenging situations

  • what situations, activities, people, or places are you avoiding or staying away from? what have you quit, withdrawn from, dropped out of? what do you keep “putting off” until later?

Part 2 - coming in the next newsletter, will take you through strategies of moving forward to a different productive path.

Meanwhile, you most likely have skills to deal with at lease one component of this, but you needed a newsletter from a caring practitioner to snap you out of the status quo…. so follow your own lead, or take the philosophy of a reframe or flip to what you discover above.

Reframe - the above process will make you more aware when things arise again and take you away from your meaningful path. This metacognitive state can lead to reframing these as problems or symptoms to simply thoughts, feelings, sensations, memories (images) that don’t have to be responded it just the brain doing its job. You can even address your brain -

“thank you brain, but I’m going to carry on, discomfort is a catalyst to resilience”.

Flip - take one of your thoughts, actions, feelings, situations & turn it on its head. You don’t have to believe it but be willing to be observant of what changes if you engage in the opposite. eg: I’m a bad mother - flip - I am a dedicated mother. This will fail - flip - I’m interested in how this will go. I don’t belong in that environment - flip - I’d like to experience that environment. Even go as far as write it on a piece of paper and put it in your pocket or make it your phone screen saver.

Look forward to part 2.

Here if you need hello@unnamovement.com

*the “righting” reflex in the context of motivation describes the tendency of health professionals to advise patiences about the right path for good health. This can often have a paradoxical effect in practice, inadvertently reinforcing the argument to maintain the status quo.

Keiba L. Shaw Patient Education, Motivation, Compliance, and Adherence to Physical ACtivity, Exercise, and Rehabilitation. Pathology and Intervention in Musculoskeletal Rehabilitation (2nd Ed) 2016.